Home is where the heart is

I look around my room
All those memories
Both good and bad

I eat, drink and live in this house
This is the place I always return to
At least at the moment

I say that I don't like it
But to say that I love it
That isn't exactly true either

But is that enough?
Can I still call it a home?

No, not really
That just isn't quite enough
There is something it lacks

It lacks that messy coziness
The laughter that is brought by true friends
The warmth of a tea cup
Shared with someone who means the world to you

It lacks the memories of those special, late nights
Those silly moments
Those crazy ideas that always makes you smile

The safety that you know will never fail
The trust that someone will always catch you
Knowing that there will always be a shoulder to cry on

I know there is such a place
And I know that I will find it
I just have to patiently wait for it

Accidents happen?...

I'm still in Stockholm, but thought that I would (for shits-and-giggles) make a bit of an update on what has happened here. That isn't much yet since we arrived on Tuesday morning, but I still wanted to make a little note in order to be able to go carefree rest of the week.
On Monday we went on a light shopping trip to Stockholm Outlet and I found the most wonderful pair of high-heeled leather boots! They may cost ~540Kr but hell no I'm going home without them! They are as comfy as a pair of Converse, but look much more bad-ass/stylish and can be worn in a bit colder weather too!
Yesterday we went out on random shopping by accident since mum wanted some new riding clothes. And why am I mentioning this? Because "I" bought a new sleeping-bag (399Kr)! The one I've used so far is really big and clumsy and I have hated carrying it around, but now I've got a little cute one that should fit in the bag I usually use instead!
Today we acctually went shopping in the city and I beat my sister and mum in the amount of stuff I found(wtf?). Catch of the day:
- a pair of skinny jeans (dark blue, 199Kr)
- a brown T-shirt (19.90Kr)
- a black top with the text "Who is fairest of them all" (9.90Kr)
- a book: The Name Of The Wind (~ 130Kr)
- a Pac-Man coffee-mug. It's one of those cool ones where things become visible when they get warm! (99Kr)
- three games (I had put my limit at two, but... shit happens? *looks innocent*):
   - Stolen, PS2 (29Kr!!)
   - Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, PS2 (79Kr)
   - Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, PS2 (139Kr)
Tomorrow we're going to Junibacken (yes, the place is ment for small children... But who cares!) and Vasamuseet! We have also planned to go to National Historiska Riksmuséet / Cosmonova, going to Gamla Stan in Stockholm so I can get to Science Fiction Bokhandeln and a few other minor things.

Much personal things lately, I know, but soon I'll be picking up "work" again in hope of getting things done!

Keep it cool girl!...

So now the larp KÄFTAB is over. the larp was a blast (thank you DMs!) even though it ate all my energy by some reason. It was a bit too easy to get in character though... The Javenna are really touchy-feely and I played an extravagant courtisan without any problems! Well that certainly tells some new things about my personality. Since I want to save some of my modesty I will leave out the details about the larp, but I can tell that I now have two characters chasing the same man. Lasidaari chases him in order to get him back to Javenna and Desdera chases him becuse he is her father (that whole mess should be mentioned in some earlier post). Now I as a player will have to stay neutral and let fate decide if which one or if any of them will reach, which will be hard since I love both of them...

Now I'm off to Stockholm for a bit more than a week. The timing is a bit off since I'm still a bit tired after the larp, but I guess I will manage.



By the way: Why does it seem like everything I get involved in becomes a mess sooner or later?...

Here we go again...

Sometimes I really hate how my creativity works... I have five projects going on at the moment: The City Never Sleeps, The Wild Legacy, Diasratensir, Simple Words On Blank Pages and the Fal'narn province in the world of Menidi'ath, not to mention that me and my friend are trying to put together a manga... And of course my head is already spitting out new ideas! I just saw the last Harry Potter movie (Which was really great by the way. I really had a hard time keeping myself from crying in a few scenes and HP also more or less introduced me to the fantasy genre, so it felt a bit sad to know that this was where that journey would end.) and at some point a line just gave me an idea to a new story... Now the idea is slowly starting to slip away, so I guess it will just vaporize into cosmos again. It's a bit sad, even though the timing was bad, since it would have made a good story...
Then again, I probably wouldn't have had the capacity to even try writing anything today, since my mind was just a big mess. All kinds of stuff popped up, vanished again before I got hold of it and then jumped at me again a little later. It's pretty inconvient to get in that state, because nothing just stays put and all those less desired thoughts appear a bit too frequently for my sanity's well-being... I guess the movie really saved me, since that made me pull myself together again...

The Devil of New York

The tombstone Elijah sat on was really uncomfortable. Then again, it hadn’t exactly been built for being sat on, so why complain. At least this time the weather was on his side. The dark night sky was covered by an even darker cloud blanket that would become a mighty thunderstorm when it would unleash itself, but now the giant was still asleep. This pleased Elijah, since it kept the surroundings dark and hid him from by passers’ eyes, but would also cover up the tracks that would be left behind tonight.

  Elijah wasn’t exactly a religious man, had never been and would never become, but he still felt a little uncomfortable when he thought about what he was going to do on the Lords properties. On the other hand, if he was to face heavenly vengeance it probably wouldn't be any worse than it already was, so what the hell. Hopefully this would be worth the pain in the end, since if he succeeded he would be one job closer to his freedom. The sooner he got rid of this bloody curse the better.

   Elijah noticed that the ground beneath him started to move. The movement would have gone unnoticed by a mortal’s eye, but Elijah’s keen senses missed nothing. That was both a blessing and a curse. Of course it was useful to have high trimmed senses, but what they were used for would give anyone the creeps. Even Elijah hated what he did, but at least he got to do it in his own pace and fully aware of his sins. The option would have been that he could pass out anytime and wake up hours, even days later in another part of the world covered in blood, guts and rests of who knows what without the slightest clue of what he had done to get in that state. This had been something he never could have lived with, even if the choice he made probably would bite him in the back some day. But that was of no importance now. His prey had started to crawl out from its unholy grave, where it lurked during daylight hours.

   The smell hit Elijah like a sledgehammer. The smell of the creatures last night’s feast and of its own rotten, bloodstained body was truly overwhelming. Seeing the half bare bones underneath the decayed flesh and the limbs which were barely attached to the body weren't exactly helping either. The cursed thing stood up and started its unsteady gait towards the gates. It had no idea that tonight it wouldn't be feasting on mortal flesh. Tonight its monstrous existence would come to a sudden halt and the Devil would be feasting on it instead.

   Elijah felt how the nasty liquid mixed with the blood in his veins started to boil and bubble. It longed for the pleasure that could only be gained by causing inhumane pain and the joy of ripping that night's ugly child to bits that would fit in a match box. The monster he had become started to take over and soon it launched towards the thing, while the real Elijah just sat and watched the show from the front seat, unable to do anything else but in terror follow the twists and turns of his own body.

  Shivers of pleasure ran up and down his spine when what once had been blood gushed out and drenched him. The thing screamed in agony and tried to get away from its attacker, but the struggle was in vain. Every terror-struck move felt more ecstatic than the previous and Elijah felt how his mind started to get blurry from the high.

  It didn’t take long before it all was over. Everything left of the undead was a few bloody ponds here and there. Elijah felt his pulse racing and the adrenalin running in his veins. The rush had been amazing, better than any of the ones before. This had felt more intimate, more personal. This one had been craving for his judgment for so long, it had been begging for a punishment.

  The rain started to fall heavily. It washed away the last of the immense rush and Elijah started to clearly see what had happened. Once again it had taken over completely and intoxicated his mind and soul. It had made him enjoy it to the fullest and there was absolutely nothing he could have done against it. People always talked about a hell on earth, but they had no idea what that truly meant. Elijah did.

  Elijah took cover from the downpour in a crypt. It must have belonged to some sickly rich bastard, since it had been made to look like a great temple fit for some ancient Olympian god. Its polished, sickeningly pure white marble walls and floors were now covered in whatever the water flushed of Elijah’s clothes, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to crawl into a corner, exhausted, and feel sorry for himself. He knew that he in reality didn’t have the right to be sorry. He had more or less self-handedly brought this down on himself. But that thought didn’t make it hurt less. He thought about the pain he had caused with his betrayal and screamed out into the raging night.

  Elijah started shaking when he thought about his beloved, beautiful Sheri. She had been the love of his life, an angel disguised as a mere mortal. And in his idiocy he had gone and betrayed her. He had crushed both her heart and world, made her think that he was gone, that he was dead. Still he knew it was better than letting her know the truth. Now she could move on and some day even be happy again, unaware of this living nightmare.

  The thunderstorm had unleashed itself upon the city and was now washing away the horrors of this night. Somehow Elijah still managed to fall asleep in this uproar of nature. It would have been hard to know which was in greater turmoil: Nature or the poor Elijah crawled up in the corner. The last thing on his mind had not been the sins he had committed tonight, but the happy memories about the things and moments he had shared with his loved one.

General update 1.0

A quick update on what has happened lately:
- I have had my... fifth (?) D&D chapter, which went alright, even though it was just a random side-plot-thingy...
- I have managed to finish my shorts and some jewelry for the KÄFTAB-larp! They turned out really nice and I acctually was more patient with them than I thought I would be. The rest of the stuff I'll be making will also be a lot easier to sow/decorate.
- I have decided to start another blogg. That blogg will work like a short story / novell (depends a bit on how long I'll continue it). The blogg will be a character's diary, where she writes about her everyday life, problems and what one usually writes about in a diary. The first post in the blogg will work as a "foreword" to the whole thing and there will also be summaries about important characters and the story so far when needed (so I'll be updating it now and then). I have no idea if it will work, but I might as well give it a shot!

The Wild Legacy

So, "The Wild Legacy" will be the name of my ElfQuest fan fiction. I really fell in love with the story and The World of Two Moons (even though I haven't even nearly read all the series yet) and I almost jumped through the roof of excitement when I read that there was a roleplaying game based on it! I tried creating a character for myself, just for the fun of it, and she turned out really great. When I started thinking about her in the story, I realized that she was great chieftess material and that idea just spawned more and more new ones!
I haven't got that much details about anything yet, but at least I know that my tribe has once, long ago, separated from the Wolfriders and that my character, Wolfheart, is the third chief since they found their new home, Dew Brook. I have also planned on GM:ing an ElfQuest RPG so "The Wild Legacy" will most likely be the base for that too, but the two stories will be kept separated from each other.
I truly recommend reading the ElfQuest series, not only because it's amazing, but also because I won't be explaining every detail and some things might remain unclear due to that.